#self-improvement-book

"What's Hot [10w] + {Couplet} We incorrectly assume what's hotis becoming what we're not."

"Money [10w] The root of all evil has a well earned reputation."

"Vacations for Souls [10w] When souls are bored in Heaven they vacation in Hell."

"Say No to Drugs Commercials The image of an egg sizzling in a frying pan is not your brain on drugs.It's just a fucking omelet."

"Spreading Yourself Too Thin We tend to bite off more than we can chewbecause we've got big mouths."

"The Poet is God When a poem's words perfectly fit,it has legs.When they communicate well,it has a voice.When they make you think,it has a mind.When the make you feel,it has a heart.Think about it.When you write a poem,you've created a person,with a distinct identityand an immortal soulthat you send out into the worldto possibly change the world.Now you know what it feels liketo be God."

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Travel [10w] The difference between a traveler and vacationer is one arrives."

"In the Future [1]: (criminals) In the future we're going to find a wayto turn criminals into wordsand then place them in parentheses."

"Using the Backdoor If we compare writing computer code to sex,then hacking would be anal sex."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"Shakespeare vs. Keynesian Economics {Couplet} If 'Neither a lender nor a borrower be',investments would dry up, economies stagnate,and off to the poorhouse go you and me."

"Hate [10w] Love cannot hate eradicate ~only a more ruthless hate can."

"The Universe Begins and Ends in Us If a telescope could see beyond the edges of the universe,we would see ourselves looking into a telescope trying to see beyond the edges of universe."

"Poetry and Love [10w] Poetry and love are two faces of the same coin."

"Pamela Anderson Haiku Ben Stillerbeds Pamela Anderson.My alarm clock rings"

"Jealousy [10w] Jealousy's like being reprimanded for a crime you haven't committed."

"Die Alone It is man's tragic fate to die alone,therefore, we must carefully choose who we die alone with."

"Crawling Backwards [10w] Crawling backwards is the hardwired wisdom of crabs and survivors."

"Adult Pretend [10w] "I'm tired of playing 'pretend';let's play 'get-real, bitch."