#self-improvement-book

"Why I Don't Carry a Cellphone [10w] It's a sign of servility you can be contacted anytime."

"Prickly Pears [10w] Men are often like cactus fruits ~thorny outside,mushy inside."

"Go with your Gut Our eyes, our mind plays tricks.Our love muscle, our heartchooses blindly and impulsively.But our gut,ahh, our gut,always makes the wise choice ~and goes straight for the burning hot pocketsfresh out of the microwavebecause our mouthsahh, our mouths,never needed a roof in the first place."

"The Wonderful Wonder Between the 'Onenesses' [10w] + [10w] + [10w] + [10w] If you can imagine time running backwards, death becomes birth;The moment before conception, becomes our oneness with the universe.Therefore, we shouldn't fear death because oneness returns to oneness;The wonder that happens between these onenesses is God's gift."

"How Hard? [10w] Fuck’em hard enough to make their breasts move like Jell-O."

"Grease [10w] Relationships between people are rarely frictionless;they all need grease."

"Oppressor vs. Oppressed [10w] Love somtimes disintegrates into becoming the oppressor or the oppressed."

"Poetry Calling [10w] Poetry's not a calling.It's a whispering in your ear."

"Depth of Love [10w] The longer the time between relationships,the deeper your love."

"Deadlines The only deadline I plan on missing is the one at the cemetery."

"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."

"Fame [10w] Fame has a funny way of rewriting your entire past."

"What is Hate? [10w] Hate is merely love hiding behind the mask of envy."

"please=""hand=""me=""the=""remote,=""dear."=""[10w]=""The most effective method of birth control is grannie panties."

"Rain Check I'm a shitty typist and speller, I hunt and peck,I wrote, "i LeFt mY sWeEtToOtH iN yOuR nEcKoF tHe WoOdS, cOuLd YoU pLeAsE bRiNgIt BeCk."Surprisingly, you did,and left."rAiN cHeCk."

"Wrong Number [10w] There is no such thing as dialing a wrong number."

"Yams vs. Sweet Potatoes vs. Cassava vs. Popeye [10w] "I am that I am that I am a yam."

"Heaven [10w] Heaven’s not a destination ~it’s a way of processing life."

"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."

"Lowbrows vs. Highbrows If you show something lowbrow to a highbrow does it wind up becoming crusty eye caca?"