#self-improvement

"Using the Backdoor If we compare writing computer code to sex,then hacking would be anal sex."

"New Age Advertising ATTEND OUR REINCARNATION RETREATGuaranteed to be a once in a lifetime experience.Sure it costs $5000, but lets face it,you only live once."

"Dictator [10w] Clever dictators keep their friends closeand their enemies dead."

"Lost vs. Lost We get lost twice in life.The first stems from uncertainty,when we try to find what our dreams truly are.The more profound feeling of being lost is existential, and comes unforeseen, after we finally fulfill our dreams.To survive the latter, we must create an entirely new set of dreams."

"Poet and the Fool {Couplet} {Limerick} The fool does his ego inflate,much like a poet does his oeuvre overrate.But the truth of the matter is that neither shit matters;harsh reality shall both nitwits deflate."

"Romantic Ring Ceremony Define this wedding ring,with which I betroth thee unto me forever,not by the confining boundaries of it's goldbut by the empty circle within -that perfect portal to your loving heartyou have opened for me, and me alone -as I have opened mine for you."

"Thank You Dick Wolf [10w] TV crime shows taught me it’s best to lawyer up."

"Persistence If persistence is the foundation of all success, how come persistent liars and nags aren't more successful?"

"Somalia Haiku For a Somalian, heaven's drawing water from a well in an earthen pot."

"Ethical Dilemma of an Ascending Body [10w] + [10w] You can't ascend a ladderwithout rungs to push back;you can't climb a staircasewithout stairs to step on."

"Six-Pack [10w] A six-pack of beer's inversely proportional to six-pack of abs."

"If I Were God [10w] If I were God I'd sell my shit on Ebay."

"Coffee Wisdom New Yawk [6] You either pay me the five large nowor yoos can choosebetween the toilet plungeror the hot coffee enemaya fuckin jamook."

"Herpes [10w] Only greatness and genital herpes are conspicuous by their absence."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"Nevada Haiku 'Happens in Vegasstays in Vegas', long as youpay hos to shut up."

"Fulfillment [10w] Sometime fulfillment goes beyond the date Amazon delivers your order."

"What's Hot [10w] + {Couplet} We incorrectly assume what's hotis becoming what we're not."

"Fodder for Poets [10w] Childhood memories are the most seminal sustenance for creating poetry."

"Vengeance, Thy Name is Woman Betrayed women aren't exactly vengeful,but they aren't exactly anything else."