#soul-searching

"First Things First [10w] God created the possibility of absurditybefore he created man."

"In the Porn Industry [10w] Lacking a college-diploma's more than compensated by a humongous penis."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"Finish Off Your Enemies If you finish off your enemiesdo they wind up more charming and with better manners?"

"Obscure Poetry Obscurity does not make a poem better or deeper.It simply makes it obscure."

"Dammit Goddammit' Defined [10w] Damned if you do and damned if you don't double-bind."

"The Poet's Mind In so many ways I walk ablaze in a maze,my eyes in a glaze, my mind in a daze,this poem's just a phrase in the latency phase,rephrase, rephrase, rephrase..."

"Spreading Yourself Too Thin We tend to bite off more than we can chewbecause we've got big mouths."

"Amputees Smart phones and the internet are the prosthetics our century cannot live without.Until we can put them down to take a quiet walk in the woods,we are all amputees."

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Long Term Relationships [10w] Long term relationships should begin and end with a laugh."

"Why Don't You Practice What You Preach [10w] The reason I teach and preach?In order to learn."

"Scientology [10w] There's nothing more oppressive than the ignorance of foolish belief."

"Office Depot: Taking Care of Business... ...with short breaks, bad management and no job advancement opportunities."

"Credo of a Substitute Teacher I'm a 'sugar free' substitute teacher.I speak frankly and never gave any of my studentsa single word of encouragement.Why should I? Even after 10 years the school hasn't given me a pension, health insurance or paid sick leave.So fuck 'em.Fuck 'em all."

"Bridges [10w] Bridges are overpasses for commuters and roofs for the homeless."

"Shakespeare vs. Keynesian Economics {Couplet} If 'Neither a lender nor a borrower be',investments would dry up, economies stagnate,and off to the poorhouse go you and me."

"Missouri State Motto Salus populi suprema lex esto [16]If our chiggers don't getcha', Rush Limbaugh will."

"Cinco de Mayo [10w] What day do the dead party to celebrate the living?"

"The Moon The moon's a pearl among the starry gems,more cultured than the rest of them.A blemished diadem of charcoaled nightthat chaperons the sun back to the light."