#Suicide

"I [10w] 'I' is a wellspring in the desertoverflowing with life."

"Enemies {couplet} Ne'er shall man's enemies been drawn so near,then when he seeketh to compare."

"Freedom [10w] You've never experienced freedom until you have nothing to lose."

"How to Treat Your Lover {Couplet} If you want to learn how your lover best to treat,Pretend each time is the last time you'll ever meet."

"Wishing Wells [10w] Wishes fall to the bottom of wells;only faith floats."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."

"The Pompous Psychopomp Its your charge to provide me safe passage to the afterlife,to be a midwife to my dying.Any yet, you hover there, judging me,putting on airs, you supercilious whip-poor-will.You're an embarrassment to nightjars everywhere.Now do your fucking job and take me to hell ~which I guess has already begun,judging by your shitty escort service."

"Spirituality and Aging Spirituality comes naturally to the old because they're running out of options."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"Cancer [10w] It's odd that the cancer that kills you is you."

"Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls."

"War [10w] Fight wars not to win, but so our enemies don't."

"❞ [10w] "Let's cuddle like a quotation mark filling a blank page."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."

"Writer's Prayers That Don't Work "Lord, lead me from the banality of everyday life,to the gleaming one beneath the surface."

"He said you were the only one who was bitter about S.'s suicide and the only one who really forgave him for it. The rest of us, he said, were outwardly unbitter and inwardly unforgiving."

"Iowa Haiku "We're not really dull,we are just misunderstood.Weed helps dull the pain."

"Chronic anxiety is a state more undesirable than any other, and we will try almost any maneuver to eliminate it. Modern man is living in anxious anticipation of destruction. Such anxiety can be easily eliminated by self-destruction. As a German saying puts it: 'Better an end with terror than a terror without end."

"In the Future [1]: (criminals) In the future we're going to find a wayto turn criminals into wordsand then place them in parentheses."

"Income Tax [10w] A man's income tax return measures his integrity and stupidity."