Beryl Dov

"Spreading Yourself Too Thin We tend to bite off more than we can chewbecause we've got big mouths."

"Facebook's New Marketing Slogan "We can only be lonesome together.900,000,000 served."

"Consciousness-Driven Evolution circa 60,000 B.C. Random genetic mutation allowed homo sapiens to compete more successfully for food and mating rights. Just listen to girl chatter posted on the cave walls:"Boy, Uggh is hot. He's sentient!""Yeah. He doesn't need a club to get my attention."

"Self-Help I asked the bookseller,'Do you have any self-help books for addiction?'He said,'If I tell you, I'd be enabling you."

"I [10w] 'I' is a wellspring in the desertoverflowing with life."

"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Straight Men vs. Curved Women [10w] 'Straight' men who approach 'curved' women must'mind the gap'."

"Spirituality and Aging Spirituality comes naturally to the old because they're running out of options."

"Life Imprisonment with No Possibility of Parole [10w] "The needle is preferable to three hots and a cot."

"Garden [10w] A garden is a poem written with flowers on earth."

"Overheard at McDonalds "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.Are you going to finish those fries?"

"A Poem Should Be Motionless A poem should be motionlessin its eternal truthsand animated to inspire latent words into action."

"Reflection Upon Reflection [10w] Don't look into a mirror in rooms full of mirrors."

"Ringtones Haiku 'Oy! Dai, da-ye-nu,Dai, da-ye-nu, Dai, da-ye-nu...'"Answer your fucking phone!"

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"The Wonderful Wonder Between the 'Onenesses' [10w] + [10w] + [10w] + [10w] If you can imagine time running backwards, death becomes birth;The moment before conception, becomes our oneness with the universe.Therefore, we shouldn't fear death because oneness returns to oneness;The wonder that happens between these onenesses is God's gift."

"Maintaining the Distance between Wealth and Poverty [10w] The nouveau riche are far more ruthlessthan the rich."

"Poetry Should Dance [10w] Let poetry dance ~neither outpace it nor let it lag."

"Psychotherapy [10w] If you can second guess a psychotherapist,they’re totally useless."