W.C. Fields

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."

"If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon."

"A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for."

"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."