#gloves

"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."

"I’ll convert a school desk into a tricycle, because how else am I supposed to learn to love? It’s not like baseball gloves are very effective oven mitts."

"If you merge an emergency with a mannequin, that’s how I look at networking events. To make each handshake more feel more personal, I try to wear the thinnest rubber gloves I can find."

"I wear gloves, because I don’t want to tease people with my naked body. I’ve got to leave something to the imagination."

"I had to hand it to him, leaving the empty glove lying on the bed was an apt metaphor for love. Two things I can say about my grandpa are that he is wise, and his left hand is probably cold."

"Everything I’ve learned about handshakes is from hands-on experience. Due to hygiene, I only network with rubber glove manufacturers."

"Politically, I feel out of touch, like I’m wearing gloves—boxing gloves. We need to go bareknuckle to beat back the entrenched establishment."

"I make friends as easily as water freezes in an active volcano. Remember: handshakes feel more natural if you leave your rubber gloves at home. Unless you enjoy networking in public restrooms."

"I always wear gloves when I wash my hands. That’s also how I make love, and if you buy now I’ll throw in an extra bar of soap for FREE."

"As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done by myself, for myself. I should buy gloves."