More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."
"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."
"I wouldn’t feel great if you left me alone, but I wouldn’t feel bad either. I’d feel good, like I always do, which has nothing to do with you, even if you’ll have nothing to do with me."
"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."
"My knowledge is mine to use as I see fit. But I’m way too out of shape to see fit."