"I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up."
"I wonder if rooms in an insane asylum have Do Not Disturb signs for the doors. I should hope not, because knock or no knock, every occupant in those rooms is already disturbed."
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."
"Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul and sip and slurp without lowering the water table of wisdom."
"I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?"
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."