"I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up."
"Are you OK with pissing people off to succeed? Because that’s what will happen. Success pisses off the unsuccessful."
"Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?"
"I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car."
"You know that I know you know, but I want you to know that I know you know I know you know I know. It’s important for you to know that, you know?"
"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that."