"I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet."
"This book comes with its very own logo (logo sold separately)."
"Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush."
"I wish success could be ordered like delivery pizza, because I’d order take out."
"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."
"The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me."