#Family

"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."

"I have given my word that only death will take me from you."

"As mothers and daughters, we are connected with one another. My mother is the bones of my spine, keeping me straight and true. She is my blood, making sure it runs rich and strong. She is the beating of my heart. I cannot now imagine a life without her."

"All what we hope for is that a day will come, when we have all gone, when people will say that this man has tried, and his family tried. This is all there is to seek in this world."

"With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell."

"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."

"Friendship is held to be the severest test of character. It is easy, we think, to be loyal to a family and clan, whose blood is in your own veins."

"A fridge will keep your steaks fresh, but keeping a live cow in grandmother’s room will keep the meat fresher. Let this be a lesson in love."

"Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?"

"My friends and family are my support system. They tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear and they are there for me in the good and bad times. Without them I have no idea where I would be and I know that their love for me is what's keeping my head above the water."

"A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it."

"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that."

"Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people - your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way."

"But to mourn, that's different. To mourn is to be eaten alive with homesickness for the person."

"I'll be your family now,"he says. "I love you,"I say. (....)He stares at me. I wait with my hands clutching his arms for stability as he considers his response. He frowns at me. "Say it again.""Tobias,"I say, "I love you."

"It's one of the worst-kept secrets of family life that all parents have a preferred son or daughter, and the rules for acknowledging it are the same everywhere: The favored kids recognize their status and keep quiet about it - the better to preserve the good thing they've got going and to keep their siblings off their back."

"I ate some emotional soup in my childhood and have spent a lifetime trying to digest it."

"My favorite place in Indonesia is Bali. I was there with my family in Nusa Dua, and my kids loved it. I'm a workaholic, so for me, Bali is a place where you can have a vacation, but you can have your own moment as well. You feel like you blend with nature - and I love the beach."

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

"I'm satisfied with making true choices and finding the woman I love, Angie, and building a family that I love so much."