#humorous

"New streets should be Twitter friendly and be named with hashtags up front. I’d build a house on ‪#‎LoversLane‬."

"I might be in love with you."He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."

"To ugly ducklings everywhere,Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:They'll never get to be swans"

"Plans are invitation to disappointment."

"The real problem with stories - if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."

"Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch."

"The better organized the state, the duller its humanity."

"Be generous with your smile and try not to frown.And you will see my children; your smile will never let you down ☺"

"I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in public and are only marginally better in private. I only find you remotely tolerable when you're kissing me."

"She bats her eyelashes like I’m throwing baseballs at them. I must be as romantic as Pete Rose’s last name."

"Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though."

"When stuck in outer space, moonwalk home. I can dance as well as any hitchhiker in the galaxy, and you can 42 off if you don’t believe me."

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."

"He had had a severe shock some weeks earlier, when, having narrowly failed to capture a large grey-brown hare for his dinner, it had stopped at the edge of the forest, looked at him with disdain, and said, 'Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, that's all,' and had scampered off into the long grass"

"Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture you or destroy you. Choose them Wisely......"

"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"

"Create your own path.Don't blindly follow the massess... because most of the time the "M"is silent."

"You might want to lie down,"Magnus advised. "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in."

"Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants."

"If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave."