#humorous

"I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction"

"I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in public and are only marginally better in private. I only find you remotely tolerable when you're kissing me."

"To ugly ducklings everywhere,Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:They'll never get to be swans"

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."

"I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall."

"If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave."

"You might want to lie down,"Magnus advised. "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in."

"Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture you or destroy you. Choose them Wisely......"

"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."

"One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace."

"Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though."

"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"

"Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch."

"He had had a severe shock some weeks earlier, when, having narrowly failed to capture a large grey-brown hare for his dinner, it had stopped at the edge of the forest, looked at him with disdain, and said, 'Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, that's all,' and had scampered off into the long grass"

"Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants."

"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."

"You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night."

"She shook her head as she confessed, "I want it so much, I'm afraid to hope.""Never be afraid to hope,"Rohan said gently. "It's the only way to begin."-Rohan to Win"

"Plans are invitation to disappointment."

"I might be in love with you."He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."