#humorous

"New streets should be Twitter friendly and be named with hashtags up front. I’d build a house on ‪#‎LoversLane‬."

"The real problem with stories - if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."

"I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction"

"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."

"You might want to lie down,"Magnus advised. "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in."

"Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture you or destroy you. Choose them Wisely......"

"One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace."

"I might be in love with you."He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."

"To ugly ducklings everywhere,Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:They'll never get to be swans"

"Create your own path.Don't blindly follow the massess... because most of the time the "M"is silent."

"She shook her head as she confessed, "I want it so much, I'm afraid to hope.""Never be afraid to hope,"Rohan said gently. "It's the only way to begin."-Rohan to Win"

"Plans are invitation to disappointment."

"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"

"When stuck in outer space, moonwalk home. I can dance as well as any hitchhiker in the galaxy, and you can 42 off if you don’t believe me."

"If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave."

"I only have so much willpower, Helen,"he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid."

"I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in public and are only marginally better in private. I only find you remotely tolerable when you're kissing me."

"I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall."

"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"

"You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night."