#humorous

"Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants."

"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."

"The real problem with stories - if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."

"I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall."

"She bats her eyelashes like I’m throwing baseballs at them. I must be as romantic as Pete Rose’s last name."

"Create your own path.Don't blindly follow the massess... because most of the time the "M"is silent."

"Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though."

"I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction"

"He had had a severe shock some weeks earlier, when, having narrowly failed to capture a large grey-brown hare for his dinner, it had stopped at the edge of the forest, looked at him with disdain, and said, 'Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, that's all,' and had scampered off into the long grass"

"I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in public and are only marginally better in private. I only find you remotely tolerable when you're kissing me."

"She shook her head as she confessed, "I want it so much, I'm afraid to hope.""Never be afraid to hope,"Rohan said gently. "It's the only way to begin."-Rohan to Win"

"When stuck in outer space, moonwalk home. I can dance as well as any hitchhiker in the galaxy, and you can 42 off if you don’t believe me."

"Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture you or destroy you. Choose them Wisely......"

"I only have so much willpower, Helen,"he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid."

"Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch."

"I might be in love with you."He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."

"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"

"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"

"You might want to lie down,"Magnus advised. "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in."