#illogical

"I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables."

"I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them."

"To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken."

"I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much."