#master-key

"First Day at Harvard [10w] Smartest kid in the roomwalks into room of competitors."

"You're My Favorite' If you want all your children to know they're your favorite,give them all the same nameand whisper this confession in all their earswith the promise not to telltheir brothers and sisters."

"Life is like a game of chess.To win you have to make a move.Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHTand knowledge, and by learning the lessons that areacculated along the way.We become each and every piece within the game called life!"

"Rationality vs. Madness [10w] Rationality maintains the world's status quo.Madness drives the change."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"The Moon The moon's a pearl among the starry gems,more cultured than the rest of them.A blemished diadem of charcoaled nightthat chaperons the sun back to the light."

"Minimum Wage [10w] Even trained bears couldn't bear working for bare minimum wage."

"Fate [10w] The eternal point where our dreams intersect is called fate."

"Rotaryrotatory In a universe composed wholly of revolving doors we'll have no need for gatekeepers or tipping doormen at Christmas."

"Go with your Gut Our eyes, our mind plays tricks.Our love muscle, our heartchooses blindly and impulsively.But our gut,ahh, our gut,always makes the wise choice ~and goes straight for the burning hot pocketsfresh out of the microwavebecause our mouthsahh, our mouths,never needed a roof in the first place."

"National Rifle Association Credo [10w] God gave us two hands to holdan assault rifle."

"Murder [10w] Two coats of paint doen't get rid of a ghost."

"Royal Pricks [10w] Woe unto the king of his bubble who's a prick."

"Read vs. Write If you want to know about life second hand, read;if you want to experience life directly, write."

"One Size Fits All Life Strategy Smile first.Ask questions later."

"Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls."

"Bridges [10w] Bridges are overpasses for commuters and roofs for the homeless."

"Old People [10w] At the mere mention of death they gasp for breath."

"Scientific Discovery [10w] The greatest scientific discoveries were madelooking at the overlooked."

"Divine Write [10w] To write is to divinely dabblein infinite alternate realities."