#master-key

"Mercy vs. Revenge "May God have mercy on my unfaithful, back-stabbing, adulterous husband because I sure as hell won't."

"Wisconsin State Motto Forward.Leading the nation in drunk driving and Cheesehead hats."

"What Children See [10w] "A spider is an octopus who lives in the desert."

"Heaven [10w] Heaven’s not a destination ~it’s a way of processing life."

"Life Imprisonment with No Possibility of Parole [10w] "The needle is preferable to three hots and a cot."

"What lies beneath the Semblance? What lies beneath the semblance.What lies beneath the semblance of lies.What lies beneath the semblance of lies!Lies lie beneath her semblance.Lies lie beneath her semblance.Lies, lies and more lies!"

"The Pompous Psychopomp Its your charge to provide me safe passage to the afterlife,to be a midwife to my dying.Any yet, you hover there, judging me,putting on airs, you supercilious whip-poor-will.You're an embarrassment to nightjars everywhere.Now do your fucking job and take me to hell ~which I guess has already begun,judging by your shitty escort service."

"First Things First "Where are you?"is the voice of God."Who am I?"is the voice of your soul.You can't answer Goduntil you answer yourself.Before you come out of hiding,find your identity and your purpose."

"Prickly Pears [10w] Men are often like cactus fruits ~thorny outside,mushy inside."

"Err 2 [10w] To err is human, to make it a habit, assinine."

"Err "To err is human ~ more wine!"

"Minus One [10w] We more people we fuckthe more lonely we become."

"The Downside of Stuff {Couplet) I got what I want;I have what I need.But they want what I have,and they'll make me bleed."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"2 Rules on Becoming a Good Poet [10w] Rule#1: Never write shitty poetry.Rule#2: Never forget Rule #1."

"Crawling Backwards [10w] Crawling backwards is the hardwired wisdom of crabs and survivors."

"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"War [10w] When leaders threaten war,they’re breaking dirt on our graves."

"Poetry vs. Prose [10w] Prose is the bread of imagination;poetry is the wine."