#master-key

"National Rifle Association Credo [10w] God gave us two hands to holdan assault rifle."

"God vs. Satan [10w] Why can't God and Satan get along?They're both detail-oriented."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"Clairol: Does she or doesn't she... ...take it up the ass."

"Epiphanies [10w] Epiphanies aren't intuitions of new ideas;they're rearranging existing information."

"Cumin vs. Acumen Cumin is a powerful spice with a nutty peppery flavor;Acumen is more about having the good taste to knowhow and when to use it."

"What happens when you trip China's Premier Li Keqiang on a banana peel? Your wind up with an even more slippery slope."

"Too Much Information You must empty your mind of garbage to let new garbage in."

"Oxford, England Haiku City shrouded in fogand within the blinding mist we found each other."

"Comedy vs. Satire [10w] Comedy pokes fun at society's self-inflation;satire deflates the balloon."

"A Voice from the Past A book is a voice from the past whispering into your ear.Sometime I get the urge to exhume the author's bodyand hit him in the head with a shovel."

"Free Will [20w] A bunch of amino acids bumping up together is not the scientific explanation of free will, it's grilling a hamburger."

"In the Porn Industry [10w] Lacking a college-diploma's more than compensated by a humongous penis."

"Compassion [10w] Compassion is the combination to enter the vault of heaven."

"Humble Wishes [10w] "God, all I simply ask is that I become perfect."

"Meaning of Life {Couplet} Life's but the love and laughter we've amassed,the friendships forged that shall outlastpossessions, station and renown,the make-up palette of a clown."

"Dysfunctional vs. You're One Fucked Up Bitch [10w] "Causing pain's the only way you know how to love."

"Dysfunctional Love We split up not because he or she didn't love us,but because they did love us in the only way they knew how."