#master-key

"That's Why Shag's the Way To Go [10w] Love's messy;it tracks mud on the carpet of life."

"Minimum Wage [10w] Even trained bears couldn't bear working for bare minimum wage."

"Dull Poetry Dulls the Mind [10w] Poetry penetrates dullness when whetted on the stone of imagination."

"Shadows are only Neutral at Noon [10w] + {Couplet} Whose side shadows fall upon,tis' ordained by reigning sun."

"Dictator [10w] Clever dictators keep their friends closeand their enemies dead."

"Fear is the Best Test Will the fear of going blind make youa voracious reader, a world traveleror paralyze you with a thousand other fears?"

"Memory Foam [10w] She had an ass like an elephants memoryfoam pillow."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"Be Careful What You Wish For More often than not,a dream come true is a nightmare-in-the-making."

"Sixty is the New Fifty The good news is sixty is the new fifty.The bad news is twenty is the new ten."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"Carrots and Creativity [10w] Put a carrot in front of you for optimal creativity."

"Harlem P.O.V. Everything outside Harlem's the boondocks,where hayseeds opt out of Nikes for Reeboks."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you."

"Overheard at Ashtanga Yoga Class *"I don't know my he left me. I even had a rabbit's food hanging from my dreamcatcher.""Maybe you should've used a little more suction and a few less amulets."

"The Hand that Feeds You Don't bite the hand that feeds you ~unless you're in a haunted houseand the fucking hand isn't attached to anything."

"Out-of-the-Box [10w] I march to my own drummerin a drum circle."

"Gradually Then Instantly [10w] We fall in love the way we lose our minds."

"Ferdinand VII of Spain {Couplet} He who can false loyalty feignshall sit twice upon the throne of Spain."