#master-of-love

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls."

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"McDonald's I love and rescue stray dogs, duct tape Burger King crowns to their heads and set them loose in McDonald's."

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"Seduction [10w] Seduction comes from our innate instincts for hunting and killing."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"Party Hat [10w] Circus clowns, Frenchmen, and sanitation workers look better in party-hats.."

"The Moon The moon's a pearl among the starry gems,more cultured than the rest of them.A blemished diadem of charcoaled nightthat chaperons the sun back to the light."

"Advice for Women at Starbucks If a vanilla latte and banana nut muffin doesn't solve the problem,perhaps you're going at it wrong."

"Black Hole The death of one great man makes the world seem empty;the death or three creates a back hole in the heart of humanity.In Memorium 2015B.B. KingOliver SacksNicholas Winton"

"AMTRAK: See America at see level... even though we cost twice as much as a plane and get you there 3 days later."

"Family {Couplet} For my misery, family brings relief,tripling my joy, halving my grief.This aesthetic arithmetic's quite poetic,an accounting surmounting odds unsympathetic.Now there seems no hardship I cannot withstand,accompanied by my exponential, familial band."

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"Object of Desire A woman knows she's the object of a unknown man's desirelike a game animal becoming aware it is being looked at."

"Pretending to be Deep ;) [10w] Only from the mountain's valley can you see the peak."

"Rhode Island State Motto Hope.Not much here but at least we have Family Guy."

"Hello Poetry Needs Y'allz How empty the oceans would be were it only filled with orcas."

"Alaska State Motto North to the Future.We got highest rape and STD-rate in the nation."

"Original Thoughts [10w] Original thoughts are not diminished by days, distance or disregard."