#master-of-love

"Virtual Reality [10w] Bliss is a virtual-reality headset coupled with a virtual-reality hooker software."

"Lubbock, Texas Haiku Oil wells, Hub of the Plains.Stinks like an armpit."

"Chase vs. Choose Happiness If you chase after happiness, it may escape you.If you choose happiness, it may take your house away.Both chasing and choosing have their hazards ~but they're less risky than waiting for happiness to find you.Remember, happiness is a lazy ass motherfuckerthat doesn't go on search and rescue missions."

"Rat Trap Haiku 'Hmm, 12 by 13,4 by 9. Oy! You call thisrat trap an apartment?"

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Doublemint Gum: Double your pleasure. Double your fun... ...we're talking ménage à trois, you son of a gun."

"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."

"What Women Want [10w] What women want is a feeling of security with abs."

"Leap of Faith [10w] Seeing God withinis where the leap of faith lands."

"Thank You, Adobe [10w] Thanks to Photoshop,a picture isn't worth a single word."

"Love and Blindness [10w] Love may be unilaterally blind,but divorce blinds both parties."

"Travel [10w] The difference between a traveler and vacationer is one arrives."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"Every Small Child is a Miracle [10w] The God of small children is the one true God."

"Inspiration vs. Plagiarism [10w] Inspiration is improving on another's idea;plagiarism is copy/paste piracy."

"Diplomacy The diplomat's expert way of saying 'They should go fuck themselves' is:"We are agreed in principleand will take our minor differencesunder thoughful consideration."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Dysfunctional vs. You're One Fucked Up Bitch [10w] "Causing pain's the only way you know how to love."

"Babel [10w] Building a tower to reach God doesn't require any bricks."

"Love's a Sacred Vessel [10w] Love's the sacred vessel embracing the mystical energy of evolution."