#Master

"Crawling Backwards [10w] Crawling backwards is the hardwired wisdom of crabs and survivors."

"Where's Ralph Waldo Emerson When you Need Him? A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds;as opposed to bigger hobgoblins with bigger dicks, doing all sorts of ghoulish shit behind the Venetian blinds."

"Cutthroat Competition [10w] If competition becomes cutthroatit suggests business has become piracy."

"A Loaf of Challah Haiku A loaf of challah,a bottle of Rashi wine...For everything else there's Simply Manischewitz."

"Dressed to Kill [10w] At fashionable parties,vegetarians should not be dressed to kill."

"Speak to the Head [10w] + {Couplet} Tis of no fucking availTo speak to the tail."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"Privacy [10w] Why someone prefers his privacy is itself a private matter."

"Retail Haiku [7w] LollapaloozaLiquidation Blowout Sale.Everything Must Go!"

"Darkness Darkness is a decision the light cannot dissuade."

"The Poet's Limitless Imagination [10w] The stringy shit from my goldfish turns him into a kite."

"Pussy [10w] Her pussy was heaven's gate and the backdoor of hell."

"Schmuck [10w] + {Couplet} Show kindness to a schmuck,it's guaranteed you'll get fucked."

"Go with your Gut Our eyes, our mind plays tricks.Our love muscle, our heartchooses blindly and impulsively.But our gut,ahh, our gut,always makes the wise choice ~and goes straight for the burning hot pocketsfresh out of the microwavebecause our mouthsahh, our mouths,never needed a roof in the first place."

"Imaginary Friends [10w] My imaginary friend insulted me by calling me real."

"Notoriety vs. Anonymity [10w] 'Tis better to live with notoriety,than die of anonymity."

"Err 2 [10w] To err is human, to make it a habit, assinine."

"Ars Poetica: Dovetailing Collage [10w] Poems should be a dovetailing collage not a linear cohesion."

"Some Semblance of Such "To lose one's identity to a Doppelgänger may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose multiple identities speaks of Nabakov."

"Treat'em Like a Dishtowel (⌣́,⌣̀)⇝♥⇜(^◡^ ) [10w] "If I wring you out will you wring me back?"