#Master

"Biggest Problem with 10w [10w] The biggest problem with aphorisms is people believe they're true."

"Speak to the Head [10w] + {Couplet} Tis of no fucking availTo speak to the tail."

"Noah [10w] God, I love rain too ~but this is fucking ridiculous!"

"Accurs'd McDonalds, I Bite my Thumb at Thee! {Couplet} Let vex'd heavens rant and rage,This here McNigga slave ain't workin' for no McMinimum wage."

"Past/Present/Future I have no problem living in the present,but because of my pastpeople want to kill me in the future."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"Garden [10w] A garden is a poem written with flowers on earth."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"Ballz Deep & Strange Haiku [1] Down the schnapps, third eye,cat flaps, pussy hole, fish lips,cha cha, ooo la la."

"Minimum Wage [10w] Even trained bears couldn't bear working for bare minimum wage."

"Shit Poetry [10w] Poetry without grace of expression is just so much shit."

"Let's Face It [10w] If you've peed on enough fire hydrants, you're a dog."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Got Hate? When a hater cozily whispers shit in your ear about them,what does that say about you?"

"ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ [10w] II ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ accounts for 15.7% of all Hello Poetry's pageviews."

"Knowledgeable [10w] The knowledgeable man inventoried and catalogued everything he doesn't know."

"Switch Hitter [10w] Aphorisms are penned in my left brain,poetry, my right."

"Objective Journalism Foreign journalists will always compromise objectivity to preserve relationships that give them better access."

"Till Death Do You Part [10w] Marriage will indeed change people ~for better or for worse."