#Master

"Cheeky Poets [10w] Remember 'poetry' lies between 'pitiful' and 'poop' in the dictionary."

"Narcissist, Assholes and Immunization Narcissists and assholes are immunized by their egos and sense of entitlement against the criticisms, grievances and resentments of others."

"Depth of Love [10w] The longer the time between relationships,the deeper your love."

"Crying in the Rain If you cry in the raindoes anybody but you know you're unhappy?"

"Sometimes God is Drunk [10w] Satan's sudden appearance means God is on a drinking binge."

"A Note from Time Management [10w] Our time machine's temporarily out of order. Come back yesterday."

"River Mountain Ocean [10w] + [10w] + {Couplet} Rivers delight in their flow;Mountains savor their snow.But oceans are in concurrencetheir contentment comes from recurrence."

"You're My Favorite' If you want all your children to know they're your favorite,give them all the same nameand whisper this confession in all their earswith the promise not to telltheir brothers and sisters."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"Rice-a-Roni: The San Francisco treat... ...the other treat, of course, being anal penetration."

"Boundaries [10w] Receiving bribes blurs the clear boundaries between friends and enemies."

"Poetry as Entertainment [10w] Poetry that's not entertaining is just a self-indulgent laundry list."

"Styx Haiku Boatman refusesto paddle me down the Styx.'No carry-on baggage."

"Idiots vs. Fools [10w] Idiots listen to other's bullshit;fools listen to their own."

"The 'Ugly' Poet [10w] Poets develop cleverness with wordsto compensate for their unattractiveness."

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Perfect Sex [10w] Perfects sex balances the conflicting pleasures of submission and mastery."

"Ode to a Wastepaper Basket I love the way you sit in the corner,gracious like a lover,catching my every crumpled vanity."

"Sublime Beauty When I shut my eyes, I can move mountains.When I open them, mountains can move me."

"Treat'em Like a Dishtowel (⌣́,⌣̀)⇝♥⇜(^◡^ ) [10w] "If I wring you out will you wring me back?"