#Master

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Who Isn't [10w] Psychotherapy's powerless once you assume you're smarter than the therapist."

"Poets, Shakespeare and Trash A poet must read equal amountsof trash and Shakespeare to learn how to distinguish between the two."

"Regret [10w] Regret's more about lost opportunities than about paths we've chosen."

"Rhode Island State Motto Hope.Not much here but at least we have Family Guy."

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Tofino, Canada Haiku Free flowing clothes,Strumming guitar on the beach.Still my baggage follows me."

"Freedom [10w] You've never experienced freedom until you have nothing to lose."

"Socrates [10w] "I know less than you.That's how smart I am!"

"My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves."

"I believe the way to master my destiny is to serve others. If I raise up others, am I not also raised up?"

"Premature Evacuation [10w] I've stopped all my relationships short,not unlike this poem."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Broken [10w] + {Couplet} "His gifts have become broken things, hidden from my view,Sitting on a shelf, above my shoes, like exterminated Jews."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"No That's Bad Aim Shoot!That ass clown couldn't hit the broad side of a barnwith the smart photon torpedohe lifted from Area 51."

"How to Treat Your Lover {Couplet} If you want to learn how your lover best to treat,Pretend each time is the last time you'll ever meet."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"Want vs. What's Coming to You As the Rolling Stones say,You can't always get what you want ~but God will always give you what's coming to you."

"I think it was the institution...I was trying to master it."