#Meaning

"Fat Bungee Jumpers When I watch a fat woman bungee jumpI swear I can feel the earth leaving its orbit."

"Self-Motivation [10w] "Today I'll do something more extraordinarythan I did yesterday."

"Say No to Drugs Commercials The image of an egg sizzling in a frying pan is not your brain on drugs.It's just a fucking omelet."

"Rewrite☷Rewrite [10w] Happiness writes new memories;New losses rewrite over old ones."

"Relatively Speaking [10w] The irony about 'relativism theories' is that they're relative too."

"Somalia Haiku For a Somalian, heaven's drawing water from a well in an earthen pot."

"Listen to the Wisdom of Shakespeare 'To thine own self be true and fuck'em till they're back and blue."

"Evolution of Love [10w] Love evolved from when one monkey handed another a blossom."

"Soup [10w] Never marry anyone who eats their soup with a ladle."

"Is Prayer Only for the Living? III [10w] Do angels pray to God to intercede on mankind's behalf?"

"I live my life in widening circleThat reach out across the world. I may not ever complete the last one,But I give myself to it. I circle around God, that primordial tower.I have been circling for thousands of years,And I still don't know: am I a falcon,A storm, or a great song? [I, 2]"

"The Universe Begins and Ends in Us If a telescope could see beyond the edges of the universe,we would see ourselves looking into a telescope trying to see beyond the edges of universe."

"Occam's Razor [10w] I shaved with Occam's razor and he shaved with mine."

"please=""hand=""me=""the=""remote,=""dear."=""[10w]=""The most effective method of birth control is grannie panties."

"Biggest Problem with 10w [10w] The biggest problem with aphorisms is people believe they're true."

"Cutthroat Competition [10w] If competition becomes cutthroatit suggests business has become piracy."

"Men Be Forewarned! [20w] A man caught in the embrace of the wrong womanis like having his penis caught in a bear trap."

"No-brainers [10w] No-brainers are challenging enough for people with no fucking brains."

"Teenagers [10w] Teenagers are the lone survivors of a ruthless hormonal holocaust."

"Whose Asphalt Is It? [10w] The road to mediocrity is paved with asphalt and tarmac."