#positive-attitude

"Fig The proud oak wed a seedling figHe welcomed her caressThough round his lofty limbs she woundHe saw no need for distress.The fig enveloped all his trunkHer grip grew firm and tightThe oak withered in his arroganceAs she choked off his last light."

"BMW: The ultimate driving machine... ...just like our gas chambers were the ultimate killing machines."

"Gradually Then Instantly [10w] We fall in love the way we lose our minds."

"Lotto If I won a million bucks in Lotto,I'd give it to Charity.Charity gives great head."

"Adult Pretend [10w] "I'm tired of playing 'pretend';let's play 'get-real, bitch."

"Poetry vs. Prose [10w] Prose is the bread of imagination;poetry is the wine."

"AMTRAK: See America at see level... even though we cost twice as much as a plane and get you there 3 days later."

"Love vs. Mental Illness [10w] Love, like mental illness, comes on graduallyand then suddenly."

"Kansas State Motto Ad astra per aspera. [9]Flat land and flatline intelligence."

"What Teenage Boys Do On Their Computer All Day [10w] ctrl alt delete ex-girlfriendcut paste Penelope Cruzpost Facebook"

"Mingling Defined [10w] Superficial people engaging with superficial people on a superficial level."

"they=""use=""to=""be=""so=""sweet"=""[10w]=""Parent's should celebrate change in their children;they're growing up."

"Getting Real about the Eel It's not that eel wants to avoid commitment.From the eel's point of view, it is a matter of survival.Who the fuck wants to be with an eel anyway,when there are plenty of less slippery fish."

"Who is Fortunate? [10w] Who is fortunate?He who measures his fortune in friends."

"Using the Backdoor If we compare writing computer code to sex,then hacking would be anal sex."

"Nebraska State Motto Equality before the law.Where Monsanto/GMO corn is above the law."

"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."

"Grandma's Advice on Ambition "Children, if you aim for the stars you'll be impaled by small meteorites and become toast."

"Always strive to aim for the highest peak of the goals in life you have set, this way if you manage to reach even half way toward a goal, landing in the middle is not such a bad place to end up."

"Love and Blindness [10w] Love may be unilaterally blind,but divorce blinds both parties."