#positive-thoughts

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"The true test of one's mettle is how many times you will try before you give up."

"Ranger Smith, Unemployement and the Possibility of Unperceived Existence If a tree falls in the forest and we're not there,do we fire the park ranger without making a sound?"

"My Fathers Last Words My dad was a sadist and whorehound.His last words were,'Son, I have a million dollars hidden in the."

"Tickled Pink Today,without thinking,I filled my half-empty fish tank, to its brink.Having doubled the size of his universe,my Siamese bettais quite tickled pinkThe same thing happens when you fill my half-empty world with your love.Bai, keep pourin'!"

"Enemies {couplet} Ne'er shall man's enemies been drawn so near,then when he seeketh to compare."

"Got Hate? When a hater cozily whispers shit in your ear about them,what does that say about you?"

"When we lose our spiritual child then that is when we have grown old."

"Love Fades [10w] Like our love,Chinese painters show distance in faded grays."

"O God O God I love you.I worship you, I need you.Everything I am is because of you.Everything.O God I hate you."

"Before It's Too Late [10w] Life's too transient to waste time hating ~plot revenge now!"

"Deaf [10w] No man suffers deafness if he listens with his eyes."

"Privacy [10w] Why someone prefers his privacy is itself a private matter."

"Hungry When you're hungry everything tastes good.Note to myself: Don't get married when you're hungry."

"Angels vs. Fools [10w] Au contraire: Angels rush in where fools fear to tread."

"United Negro College Fund: A mind is a terrible thing to waste... ...and so is your paycheck,so don't waste good money on a lost cause."

"Be Careful What You Wish For More often than not,a dream come true is a nightmare-in-the-making."

"Fame [10w] Fame has a funny way of rewriting your entire past."

"What's Hot [10w] + {Couplet} We incorrectly assume what's hotis becoming what we're not."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."