#positive-quotes

"Pacifism There's nothing like seeing action in war to turn a soldier into an instant pacifist or an instant killer."

"Getting Real about the Eel It's not that eel wants to avoid commitment.From the eel's point of view, it is a matter of survival.Who the fuck wants to be with an eel anyway,when there are plenty of less slippery fish."

"Dull Poetry Dulls the Mind [10w] Poetry penetrates dullness when whetted on the stone of imagination."

"you=""are=""what=""eat"=""[10w]=""That's why I've become a pizza with a pussy topping."

"Missouri State Motto Salus populi suprema lex esto [16]If our chiggers don't getcha', Rush Limbaugh will."

"Paranoid Realist Perspective [10w] "I've conquered all my enemies except for the real ones."

"Regret vs. Good Times "If I had to regret the good times I spent with every lover who eventually disillusioned me,my love life would be reduced to ten seconds."

"Melting Icicles Haiku Drip, drip, Drip, drip, Drip:Sounds of melting iciclesannouncing the Spring"

"Styx Haiku Boatman refusesto paddle me down the Styx.'No carry-on baggage."

"Sharia Justice [10w] Sharia justice is a lynch mob masquerading as Allah's will."

"A-New-Year's-a-Comin' [10w] A new year is coming!Let's all make new mistakes!"

"Do Me No Favors Haiku 'Do me no favors ~I can take care of myself.So, pay the check and drive me home."

"Bonjour [10w] You're more obscure than first we met,"uttered with regret."

"What One Vulture Said to the Other I have a bone to pick with you ~which end shall we start on?"

"Thank You Dick Wolf [10w] TV crime shows taught me it’s best to lawyer up."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"but,=""soft!=""what=""light=""through=""yonder=""window=""breaks?"=""[10w]="""Shut the fuck up! I think we got a burglar."

"Visual Pun [10w] Example of visual pun:cloud shaped like a banana peel."

"Home Never give up a home for a house;you may never find a home again."

"again!"=""Perfect happiness is when your child giggles and yells,"Again!"