#positive-quotes

"Western Hypocricy I laugh at the hypocrisy of this western world that only expects the Muslims and Jews to act more Christian, while they continueto revel in the carnage of their heathen ways."

"Ranger Smith, Unemployement and the Possibility of Unperceived Existence If a tree falls in the forest and we're not there,do we fire the park ranger without making a sound?"

"Advice for Women at Starbucks If a vanilla latte and banana nut muffin doesn't solve the problem,perhaps you're going at it wrong."

"You Can't Win [10w] Every bitch is a witch;every wife brings you strife."

"The State of the World Attests to This: [10w] Common people are too easily manipulated or stupid to vote."

"One Philosophical Question, Two Faces [10w] 'Is life wort living?' is tantamount to'Does God exist?"

"Love vs. Mental Illness [10w] Love, like mental illness, comes on graduallyand then suddenly."

"Rationality vs. Madness [10w] Rationality maintains the world's status quo.Madness drives the change."

"Visual Pun [10w] Example of visual pun:cloud shaped like a banana peel."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."

"Discrete vs. Discreet Moonlight falls upon my feet,beyond the sun's overwrought conceit.I'm painted pristine white, without the heat;reflection's cool reflection~ how discreet!"

"Child on a Swing Haiku Child screeches like birdas swing reaches for heaven.Stars fill his pocket."

"Q & A The illness of our time is not that we lack for answers;man's tragedy is that we've forgotten the important questions."

"Double-Dipping [10w] Double-dip in righteousness and delight in the here and herafter."

"A Voice from the Past A book is a voice from the past whispering into your ear.Sometime I get the urge to exhume the author's bodyand hit him in the head with a shovel."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Sunshine On My Shoulders When you're home's always filled with sunshine,you're either blessed or it's time to fix the roof."

"Humans vs. Monkeys [10w] + [10w] Baby monkeys are much more clever than a human babies.Human babies leap ahead because of their capacity for language."

"Over [10w] It's never ever over because the fat lady can't sing."