#positive-quotes

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Rebellious Fish [10w] Sometimes swimming against the current turns you into glazed salmon."

"Iran [10w] In Teheran daylight dawnswith minarets against skies of bronze."

"Arches National Park, Utah BloodshotZiggurats of rock against unbending sky,sandstone fins and eyes of ancient earth behemoth.Your windows wedged by cosmic hands of rain and melting snow, of frost and ice, of gravity and geologic time, patient and untiring,self-possessed like a child's perception of endless summer."

"Scissor, Paper, Rock [10w] When time acts like a scissor,react like a rock."

"please=""hand=""me=""the=""remote,=""dear."=""[10w]=""The most effective method of birth control is grannie panties."

"There's More Than Two Choices [10w] Don't take the road less traveled;blaze your own path."

"God vs. Satan [10w] Why can't God and Satan get along?They're both detail-oriented."

"Love's a Sacred Vessel [10w] Love's the sacred vessel embracing the mystical energy of evolution."

"Time Traveler's Ennui The future ain't what it use to be."

"The Flood that Did Not Subside [10w] What would today's world be,If Noah's dove flew into obscurity?"

"2 Rules on Becoming a Good Poet [10w] Rule#1: Never write shitty poetry.Rule#2: Never forget Rule #1."

"Nature's Prayer [10w] + {Couplet} Trees gesticulate in morning prayer;wind circulates with cleansing air."

"Time Time waits for no man ~but for hot women Time makes exceptions."

"Who is Fortunate? [10w] Who is fortunate?He who measures his fortune in friends."

"That's Why Shag's the Way To Go [10w] Love's messy;it tracks mud on the carpet of life."

"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."

"Patriotism [10w] Patriotism for the rich is a subtle synonym for profiteering."

"Poet and the Fool {Couplet} {Limerick} The fool does his ego inflate,much like a poet does his oeuvre overrate.But the truth of the matter is that neither shit matters;harsh reality shall both nitwits deflate."

"Patience [10w] Patience is the most technologically advanced form of energy efficiency."