#positive-thoughts

"Coffee Wisdom [2] For a real manthe only thing better than the scent of pussyis the smell of freshly ground coffee."

"What Ever Happened to Stupid? [10w] ‘I’m only human’,has become everybody’s license to fuck up."

"Publisher's Persuasion "You're much too good a writer to want a six figure advance. You don't want your readers to think you're only writing for money ~ do you?"

"The Squeaky Wheel The squeaky wheel ~will put you $374.43 in the holeafter replacing the brake pad, rotorsand $500 with a new master cylinder."

"National Rifle Association Credo [10w] God gave us two hands to holdan assault rifle."

"Don't Mess with the Queen {Couplet} The first man harnessing the secrets of fireCannot compare with the revelation of your sovereign ire."

"Mint Julep {Couplet} I've had more than a hint of a tulip or two,after treating them to a mint julep, or two."

"Hanzō Katana Poetry A poem should be forged and folded to perfection like a Hanzō katanaand as gentle as the mist it cuts through."

"It is in doing things and not reading about them that results come about."

"Let's get physical, physical [10w] All physical contact is meaningful,even if meaningful means sleazy."

"Deadlines The only deadline I plan on missing is the one at the cemetery."

"Cinco de Mayo [10w] What day do the dead party to celebrate the living?"

"My Brooklyn Childhood [10w] "Motherfucker! I gotta put more goddamn change in the swear-jar."

"Jealousy [10w] Jealousy's like being reprimanded for a crime you haven't committed."

"The Pompous Psychopomp Its your charge to provide me safe passage to the afterlife,to be a midwife to my dying.Any yet, you hover there, judging me,putting on airs, you supercilious whip-poor-will.You're an embarrassment to nightjars everywhere.Now do your fucking job and take me to hell ~which I guess has already begun,judging by your shitty escort service."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"When faced with a hurdle then give it all you've got to jump over it because it can't be done in two stages."

"Dammit Goddammit' Defined [10w] Damned if you do and damned if you don't double-bind."

"Regret vs. Good Times "If I had to regret the good times I spent with every lover who eventually disillusioned me,my love life would be reduced to ten seconds."

"Dogs [10w] Dogs never lie about love,but occasionally fake an orgasm."