#powerful-story

"Il Principe 2015: Lesson 2 ~ Shit If you're going to run for public office,you must first scrape the shit off your shoe,or the stink will follow you."

"Virtual Reality [10w] The only thing better than reality is perfected virtual reality."

"God Created [10w] Lips were created to kiss and hands to make peace."

"Darkness Darkness is a decision the light cannot dissuade."

"Mind Maneuvers When we hear something unflattering,our mind doesn't fully process it.When we hear a compliment,the mind goes into overdriveand tend to read too much into it."

"First Day at Harvard [10w] Smartest kid in the roomwalks into room of competitors."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"Accurs'd McDonalds, I Bite my Thumb at Thee! {Couplet} Let vex'd heavens rant and rage,This here McNigga slave ain't workin' for no McMinimum wage."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Tangled [10w] Love becomes a tangle of roots submerged in common soil."

"Jealousy [10w] Jealousy's like being reprimanded for a crime you haven't committed."

"Pedestals [10w] People should not be placed on pedestals unless they're stuffed."

"Me vs. Me Only the practice of empathy and gratitudecan make the opaque ego transparent to receivethe loving light emanating from your soul.Hate and selfishness will always leave you'in the shadow."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Imaginary Friends When my childhood imaginary friend got mad at mehe insulted me by calling me 'real'."

"Why We Need Smart People [10w] We need smart people to call other smart people morons."

"Money vs. Happiness [10w] Why do people with money say,'money can't buy happiness'?"

"Today's Affirmation [10w] "I'll unplug myself from myselfand plug into something higher."

"Visual Pun [10w] Example of visual pun:cloud shaped like a banana peel."

"Measuring Love The only scientist who can measure love is the onewho's in love with another scientist."