#relationships

"Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain."

"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."

"I drank her essence, and it’s like she never existed and now I’m thirsty again. Let this be a lesson in love."

"Dating Asian Her Kung Fu style was not too bad,but at doggie style she had me had."

"Pamela Anderson Haiku Ben Stillerbeds Pamela Anderson.My alarm clock rings"

"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."

"I had a dream about you last night.. you were holding a pine cone and introducing him as Gerald."

"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."

"Who we were and who we are are four different people, and the me from now doesn't relate to the me from then, let alone to the you from now."

"If I knew how a lot of my relationships would have turned out, I never would have gotten involved in them... And I would have missed out on some of the best times in my life."

"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."

"Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though I’m not sure if I’d like to be and argh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals."

"With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell."

"I’m half chameleon, half camouflage, and wholly in love with you, though you’d never be able to see it."

"A friend is someone whose face you can see in the dark."

"Never rearrange your life in order to meet Mr. Darcy half way. If he couldn’t see your worth at the moment you met then he won’t two years later. May the halls of Pemberly be filled with his regrets and your life filled with thankfulness because of this revelation."

"Rejection is an opportunity for your selection."

"My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast."

"Release your past into the universe and embrace your future with opened arms."

"Dangerous Food [10w] The world's most fattening foods are the ones you swallow."