#sage-advice

"They'd Rather Switch [10w] Hearing is wasted on the blind;sight, on the deaf."

"Committees [10w] A committee sits in a rectangle and talks in circles."

"Let Others Speak [10w] When others speak of your virtues they grow tenfold."

"Six-Pack [10w] A six-pack of beer's inversely proportional to six-pack of abs."

"What is Hate? [10w] Hate is merely love hiding behind the mask of envy."

"Contiguous vs. Continuous Identity Identity's only preserved in death;in life it is ever-changing."

"Food If food comes with a labelthat's warning enough you shouldn't eat it."

"Spineless [10w] There are more spineless men on the planet than jellyfish."

"Hanzō Katana Poetry A poem should be forged and folded to perfection like a Hanzō katanaand as gentle as the mist it cuts through."

"Fate [10w] The eternal point where our dreams intersect is called fate."

"Broken Heart [10W] The broken heart becomes volcanic, forever rumbling anddispersing ash."

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"The Refugee I packed my car with cash and valuablesand headed for the border.At the first checkpoint they took my cash.At the second they took my valuables.At the border they took my car and my shoes.I walked barefoot the last 100 feet to freedom,and was greeted with open arms by a person I didn't recognize.In time I discovered that strangerwas the me they could not take from me."

"New Age Hype Don't 'honor your feelings.'Half the time they're full of shit.Don't 'embrace' anything without a pulse.Mindfulness should include not listening to quacks."

"Rooftop Poetry Sing poetry from rooftopslike a muzzein' s call for prayer."

"Epiphanies [10w] Epiphanies aren't intuitions of new ideas;they're rearranging existing information."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Make It Happen!!! [10w] Don't wait for someone to fall in love with you."

"Virtual Reality [10w] Bliss is a virtual-reality headset coupled with a virtual-reality hooker software."

"That Jesus Kinda' Love [20w] What people do for the loveof their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,I wouldn't do for my fucking mother."