#sage-advice

"Ruminating Poetry A poem should be eaten in one sittingbut regurgitated often like a ruminant's food."

"Definition of Haiku in Haiku Due to brevityyour lame observations seemdeeper than they are."

"Herpes [10w] Only greatness and genital herpes are conspicuous by their absence."

"Straight Men vs. Curved Women [10w] 'Straight' men who approach 'curved' women must'mind the gap'."

"Meek [10w] Blessed are the meek, for they've learned how to duck."

"Die Alone It is man's tragic fate to die alone,therefore, we must carefully choose who we die alone with."

"Poetry and Ostrich Feathers A poet should leave his poem covered with a faint film of fairy dust,inviting the reader to bring his faint heartand an ostrich feather duster to the reading."

"Lenny Bruce I'm going to be rich!I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Curse of the Ageing Woman {Couplet} I'm a wallflower, bluestocking, left on the Shelf, When you're beyond one's sell-by date, you've left by yourself,"

"Lubbock, Texas Haiku Oil wells, Hub of the Plains.Stinks like an armpit."

"Dating Asian Her Kung Fu style was not too bad,but at doggie style she had me had."

"One Size Fits All Life Strategy Smile first.Ask questions later."

"Persistence If persistence is the foundation of all success, how come persistent liars and nags aren't more successful?"

"Lonely Marriage is the best refuge of the lonely to be lonely together,and if it lasts long enough,take turns being lonely."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"A Voice from the Past A book is a voice from the past whispering into your ear.Sometime I get the urge to exhume the author's bodyand hit him in the head with a shovel."

"Reflection Upon Reflection [10w] Don't look into a mirror in rooms full of mirrors."

"Mind's Eye What vain man is not a hero in his mind's eye;What egoist not the protagonist upon which the world revolves?"

"Seeing vs. Envision {Couplet} We see nothing more than we bring to it;heavenly orchards lie in an apple's pit!"