#sage-advice

"Measuring Love The only scientist who can measure love is the onewho's in love with another scientist."

"Nomad {Couplet} When your roots grow from the outside in,home becomes whatever place you're in."

"Time Time waits for no man ~but for hot women Time makes exceptions."

"Getting Real about the Eel It's not that eel wants to avoid commitment.From the eel's point of view, it is a matter of survival.Who the fuck wants to be with an eel anyway,when there are plenty of less slippery fish."

"Prayer [10w] Despite God's grace, prayer is not a wish granting well."

"Lenny Bruce I'm going to be rich!I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede."

"There's More Than Two Choices [10w] Don't take the road less traveled;blaze your own path."

"Expectation [10w] Eyes that see with expectation lieby not querying, 'Why."

"Writer's Prayers That Don't Work "Lord, lead me from the banality of everyday life,to the gleaming one beneath the surface."

"❞ [10w] "Let's cuddle like a quotation mark filling a blank page."

"Out to Lunch [10w] Behind closed doors, there's nothing we rightfully can call crazy."

"Spineless "How do you know which invertebrate lacks resolution if they're all spineless?"

"You Can't Win [10w] Every bitch is a witch;every wife brings you strife."

"Coins [10w] Statesmen whose faces are on coins are amenable to change."

"Wherefore Art Thou, William [10w] Every Shakespeare mouse 'tis tim'rous and every lover 'tis fuck'd."

"Notoriety vs. Anonymity [10w] 'Tis better to live with notoriety,than die of anonymity."

"BMW: The ultimate driving machine... ...just like our gas chambers were the ultimate killing machines."

"Cookie Cutter Criticism A critic tried to fit my sense of humor in a cookie cutter,but it wouldn't fit his preconceived shape of what comedy should be.So he pressed harder, and harder and harder until the cookie cutter cut a cookie shaperight through the palm of his hand.It doesn't hurt anymore when the critic tries to slap me in the face.There's no more hot-air resistance."

"New Year's Revolving Door [10w] + [10w] + {Couplet} 2015's revolution commences with the overthrow of New Year's resolution.Seek not absolutionfor our weak character's immune to evolution."

"Hemidemisemiquaver [10w] The composer evened the score by ending in a hemidemisemiquaver."