#sage-advice

"Voodoo I'm phobic about pins and needles.Can I just stick a voodoo doll in the microwave?"

"Breathe inhale.exhalerepeatThat should solve 90% of your problems.For the other 10% ask your local Rabbi."

"Clairol: Does she or doesn't she... ...take it up the ass."

"Who, Me? We marry nearly the same person over and over again,hoping next time they'll get it right."

"Getting Even Bring a gun to a knife-fight,Bring a nuke to a war.Even if you don't win,You'll even the score.““”̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿’̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪ⓧ)=ε/̵͇̿̿/̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿"

"Too Much Information You must empty your mind of garbage to let new garbage in."

"Government Intrusion [10w] + {Couplet} America's biggest illusion is the beliefthey're free from government intrusion."

"Chutzpah {Limerick} Despite your unmitigated audacity,you're effrontery remains one of opacity.Let me suggest you turn Jewand learn chutzpah too,to realize your fullest capacity."

"Is Prayer Only for the Living? III [10w] Do angels pray to God to intercede on mankind's behalf?"

"God May Grant Your Wishes Daily [10w] Pray for sunshine at night and moonbeams when you wake."

"What Ever Happened to Stupid? [10w] ‘I’m only human’,has become everybody’s license to fuck up."

"Self-Contempt [10w] Self-contempt is calling yourself collect and refusing to accept the charges."

"Lady Clowns [10w] Lady clowns drip menstrual blood in seven luscious rainbow colors."

"Original Thoughts [10w] Original thoughts are not diminished by days, distance or disregard."

"Penetration [10w] The difference between truism and an enlightened [10w] is penetration."

"Memory Foam [10w] She had an ass like an elephants memoryfoam pillow."

"Dogs [10w] Dogs never lie about love,but occasionally fake an orgasm."

"Money Can't Buy Everything [10w] Money can't buy everything ~ but love is certainly no exception."

"Lost Love [10w] + {Couplet} Lost love's the season of mists,Though they are gone, memory persists."

"Thank You Dick Wolf [10w] TV crime shows taught me it’s best to lawyer up."