#sage

"Before It's Too Late [10w] Life's too transient to waste time hating ~plot revenge now!"

"The Human Race Pleasure is the sprint.Contentment is the 5 mile.Happiness is the marathon."

"Kill Buddha's Hairdresser [10w] I'd like to meet Buddha's hairdresser and shoot the prick."

"Office Depot: Taking Care of Business... ...with short breaks, bad management and no job advancement opportunities."

"Lonely Marriage is the best refuge of the lonely to be lonely together,and if it lasts long enough,take turns being lonely."

"First Things First [10w] God created the possibility of absurditybefore he created man."

"Time [10w] {Couplet} Can there be more callous crimethan unkindly killing time?"

"First Things First "Where are you?"is the voice of God."Who am I?"is the voice of your soul.You can't answer Goduntil you answer yourself.Before you come out of hiding,find your identity and your purpose."

"Retail [10w] The first and last sale of the day are best."

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Great Poets [10w] Great poets can milk blood and tears from a stone."

"Me vs. Me Only the practice of empathy and gratitudecan make the opaque ego transparent to receivethe loving light emanating from your soul.Hate and selfishness will always leave you'in the shadow."

"Money vs. Happiness [10w] Why do people with money say,'money can't buy happiness'?"

"The Jewish NOW There's no time like the present ~but in the future,who can say?"

"I'm Not Talking About Fruitcake [10w] The greatest gifts are the ones that can be regifted."

"Hug [10w] To embrace what you truly love,give it a hug."

"Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls."

"Want vs. What's Coming to You As the Rolling Stones say,You can't always get what you want ~but God will always give you what's coming to you."

"Excuse The bureaucrat's excuse, 'If I have to make an exception for you,I have to make an exception for everybody else',doesn't apply to me because I exceptional."

"New York Haiku "My monthly rent checkis more than you will make inyour fucking lifetime."