#sage

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"Seafood My body's just a shell,the world is my oyster ~and I'm getting a whale of appetiteright now for some delicious seafood ."

"*"Maybe the whole point of my life is to make you feel more alive."

"Relatively Speaking [10w] The irony about 'relativism theories' is that they're relative too."

"Poetry as Entertainment [10w] Poetry that's not entertaining is just a self-indulgent laundry list."

"Income Tax [10w] A man's income tax return measures his integrity and stupidity."

"Me vs. Me Only the practice of empathy and gratitudecan make the opaque ego transparent to receivethe loving light emanating from your soul.Hate and selfishness will always leave you'in the shadow."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"Did He Do the Right Thing? I walked out of the room. I did not stay to watch my beloved draw her last breath because I didn't want all my magical memories of her tainted by the profanity of death."

"Spreading Yourself Too Thin We tend to bite off more than we can chewbecause we've got big mouths."

"The Gypsy Jackpot An ambulance, a police car and a fire truck parked in front of a gypsy's trailer can only mean one thing ~ insurance scam!"

"Coffee Wisdom [2] For a real manthe only thing better than the scent of pussyis the smell of freshly ground coffee."

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Friendship vs. Love [10w] Friendship requires poise and patience;love demands pluck and perseverance."

"Persistence If persistence is the foundation of all success, how come persistent liars and nags aren't more successful?"

"Knowledgeable [10w] The knowledgeable man inventoried and catalogued everything he doesn't know."

"The 'Ugly' Poet [10w] Poets develop cleverness with wordsto compensate for their unattractiveness."

"What's a Proper Tribute to Robin Williams? [10w] When funnymen die is to better to laugh or cry?"

"Autumn Ikebana [10w] + {Haiku} Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves.or:Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves."

"AMTRAK: See America at see level... even though we cost twice as much as a plane and get you there 3 days later."