#sage

"Poetry in a Bottle [10w] If you could bottle poetry you'd have one addictive drink."

"Ode to a Wastepaper Basket I love the way you sit in the corner,gracious like a lover,catching my every crumpled vanity."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Vacations for Souls [10w] When souls are bored in Heaven they vacation in Hell."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"Russian, Umerzhurnalistka Someone who too many questions for his own good. Literally, 'Dead journalist'."

"Poetry vs. Prose [10w] Prose is the bread of imagination;poetry is the wine."

"Comments Being the first to comment on a poem,is like breaking a bottle of champagneagainst the hull of a new ship."

"Persistence If persistence is the foundation of all success, how come persistent liars and nags aren't more successful?"

"Death as Opportunity [10w] Death's an opportunity to wisely fill the void it leaves."

"Russian, Metafizicheskiy-poshlost This is the humorous metaphysical banality like watching Tolstoy's wife, Sophia, nag her husband about leaving borscht stains on the table linen. The resulting discombobulation totally messed up the ending of Anna Karenina."

"Office Depot: Taking Care of Business... ...with short breaks, bad management and no job advancement opportunities."

"Broken [10w] + {Couplet} "His gifts have become broken things, hidden from my view,Sitting on a shelf, above my shoes, like exterminated Jews."

"Grave Dancing for Dummies {Couplet} They danced at my grave when I was buried at sea;with my haters drowned, I'm now totally free."

"To Trend or Not to Trend I've had a thousand trending poems,they were rarely my best.Evoking empathy and shared feelingis the poet's only true test."

"Buddha (Haiku) Buddha, Enlightened,I rub your belly to blessmy Lotto ticket."

"Western Hypocricy I laugh at the hypocrisy of this western world that only expects the Muslims and Jews to act more Christian, while they continueto revel in the carnage of their heathen ways."

"What Makes a Terrorist Tic {Couplet} "If you want to glimpse how dark I really am,Place me beside the brilliant words of our Holy Qur'an."

"Miracle [10w] The greatest unacknowledged miracle is man has lasted this long."

"Patience [10w] Patience is the most technologically advanced form of energy efficiency."