#sage

"Herpes [10w] Only greatness and genital herpes are conspicuous by their absence."

"Spooning [10w] Love means tasting her spaghetti sauce on a wooden spoon."

"Poets and Competitiveness [10w] "I'm the only poet I need to be better than."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Hidden [10w] A woman is an iceberg;we see less than 10%."

"Hate [10w] Love cannot hate eradicate ~only a more ruthless hate can."

"God vs. Satan [10w] Why can't God and Satan get along?They're both detail-oriented."

"Immortality [10w] True immortality means you've created something that will outlive you."

"Ruminating Poetry A poem should be eaten in one sittingbut regurgitated often like a ruminant's food."

"Memory Foam [10w] She had an ass like an elephants memoryfoam pillow."

"Writer's Prayers That Don't Work "Lord, lead me from the banality of everyday life,to the gleaming one beneath the surface."

"You're My Favorite' If you want all your children to know they're your favorite,give them all the same nameand whisper this confession in all their earswith the promise not to telltheir brothers and sisters."

"Fat Bungee Jumpers When I watch a fat woman bungee jumpI swear I can feel the earth leaving its orbit."

"Unfriend Politeley Means"

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"Penetrate the Mysteries "If you ever hope to penetrate the mysteries of the universe,you've got to buy her a drink first and then pretend you're listening."

"Broken Heart [10W] The broken heart becomes volcanic, forever rumbling anddispersing ash."

"The 'Ugly' Poet [10w] Poets develop cleverness with wordsto compensate for their unattractiveness."

"Darkness Darkness is a decision the light cannot dissuade."

"Err "To err is human ~ more wine!"