#self-esteem-self-help-book

"River Mountain Ocean [10w] + [10w] + {Couplet} Rivers delight in their flow;Mountains savor their snow.But oceans are in concurrencetheir contentment comes from recurrence."

"Ethical Dilemma of an Ascending Body [10w] + [10w] You can't ascend a ladderwithout rungs to push back;you can't climb a staircasewithout stairs to step on."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Ballz Deep & Strange Haiku [1] Down the schnapps, third eye,cat flaps, pussy hole, fish lips,cha cha, ooo la la."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"AMTRAK: See America at see level... even though we cost twice as much as a plane and get you there 3 days later."

"Joussard, Alberta, Canada Haiku Love North Country Fair.Music, dance, artisan market ~a walk back in time."

"Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face."

"Campbell's Soup: M'm! M'm! Good!... ...even though our products have more sodium than the Dead Sea."

"Becoming [10w] We're a becoming whose final shape is unknown to all."

"What's a Proper Tribute to Robin Williams? [10w] When funnymen die is to better to laugh or cry?"

"Family {Couplet} For my misery, family brings relief,tripling my joy, halving my grief.This aesthetic arithmetic's quite poetic,an accounting surmounting odds unsympathetic.Now there seems no hardship I cannot withstand,accompanied by my exponential, familial band."

"Credo of a Substitute Teacher I'm a 'sugar free' substitute teacher.I speak frankly and never gave any of my studentsa single word of encouragement.Why should I? Even after 10 years the school hasn't given me a pension, health insurance or paid sick leave.So fuck 'em.Fuck 'em all."

"Diplomacy The diplomat's expert way of saying 'They should go fuck themselves' is:"We are agreed in principleand will take our minor differencesunder thoughful consideration."

"What Women Want [10w] What women want is a feeling of security with abs."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Brownie Mix [10w] + {Couplet} Betwixt hell and the River Styx,I'll be shitting bricks."

"Love vs. Honeymoon [10w] Love is what truly begins when the honeymoon is over."

"Pedestals [10w] People should not be placed on pedestals unless they're stuffed."

"Fate [10w] The eternal point where our dreams intersect is called fate."