#self-improvement-book

"Occam's Razor [10w] I shaved with Occam's razor and he shaved with mine."

"Infinite Promise The carrot of infinite promise always dangles just inches beyond our noses.The trick is to surreptitiously switch that carrot for a zucchini."

"Natural Born Killers [10w] After their first,every soldier becomes a natural born killer."

"Pushkin When Pushkin came to Shovekin all hell broke loose."

"Dammit Goddammit' Defined [10w] Damned if you do and damned if you don't double-bind."

"Good and Evil To have good and evil the Devil must always remain a step beyond saving."

"Travel [10w] The difference between a traveler and vacationer is one arrives."

"Maine State Motto Dirigo. [10]You won't find no niggers here, eh."

"The Poet's Limitless Imagination [10w] The stringy shit from my goldfish turns him into a kite."

"Elegance in Simplicity [10w] The more complex the problem,the simpler the correct answer."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity is an insignificant zit on the surface of history."

"Coins [10w] Statesmen whose faces are on coins are amenable to change."

"Dysfunctional Love We split up not because he or she didn't love us,but because they did love us in the only way they knew how."

"What is God? (60) [10w] God's always the correct answer once you rephrase the question."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"The Sound of Killing [10w] + [10w] A doe, a deer, a femaledeerin my headlights.A doe, a deer, a femaledeeron my sunroof."

"Shiva Haiku Sitting shiva.One more day of thisand I'll die of boredom."

"Seafood My body's just a shell,the world is my oyster ~and I'm getting a whale of appetiteright now for some delicious seafood ."

"Hatred is a Simple Child Hatred is a simple child nurtured and coddled in a raging heart and then released into a crowd of innocents wearing a suicide vest."

"Why I Don't Carry a Cellphone [10w] It's a sign of servility you can be contacted anytime."