#self-improvement-book

"A Prayer God, be my light in pitch-black night;Show me the path from wrong to rightThat I might in Your hands be delivered later,Having eclipsed myself to become something greater."

"A Frog in my Throat I had me frog in my throat.I swallowed hard and it croaked.Tasted like shit.Next time I get me a frog in my throat,my snooty French boyfriend better wash his dick with soap."

"The Jewish NOW There's no time like the present ~but in the future,who can say?"

"Err "To err is human ~ more wine!"

"DNA [10w] DNA's the last hope of our species,spiraling to extinction."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."

"Rules of Etiquette [10w] Rules of etiquette are pretend manners for the lower classes."

"Darkness Darkness is a decision the light cannot dissuade."

"Ruminating Poetry A poem should be eaten in one sittingbut regurgitated often like a ruminant's food."

"Scientific Discovery [10w] The greatest scientific discoveries were madelooking at the overlooked."

"That Jesus Kinda' Love [20w] What people do for the loveof their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,I wouldn't do for my fucking mother."

"Gradually Then Instantly [10w] We fall in love the way we lose our minds."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."

"2D or Not 2D [10w] The best thing about a two-dimensional world is nobody's fat."

"A Tad Old Fashioned [10w] "Save all your sighing and swooning for the 18th Century, bitch."

"Renewal Cream [10w] The features of the human face are enriched by poetry."

"The Universe Begins and Ends in Us If a telescope could see beyond the edges of the universe,we would see ourselves looking into a telescope trying to see beyond the edges of universe."

"Death [10w] What the the dying most resent is life goes on."

"Nature's Prayer [10w] + {Couplet} Trees gesticulate in morning prayer;wind circulates with cleansing air."

"A Suicide's Regret "I cut my vein in vain;blood slowly oozes out.I should've cut an arteryand watch it spurt and spout."