#self-improvement-book

"Wisconsin State Motto Forward.Leading the nation in drunk driving and Cheesehead hats."

"Garden [10w] A garden is a poem written with flowers on earth."

"Rebellious Fish [10w] Sometimes swimming against the current turns you into glazed salmon."

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Friendship vs. Love [10w] Friendship requires poise and patience;love demands pluck and perseverance."

"Overheard at McDonalds "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.Are you going to finish those fries?"

"Black Hole The death of one great man makes the world seem empty;the death or three creates a back hole in the heart of humanity.In Memorium 2015B.B. KingOliver SacksNicholas Winton"

"Opportunity Knocks: China When opportunity knocksthe Chinese make knock-offs."

"The Human Race Pleasure is the sprint.Contentment is the 5 mile.Happiness is the marathon."

"Long Term Relationships [10w] Long term relationships should begin and end with a laugh."

"Marriage Material For women seeking a marriage partner,a man's sense of humor trumps good looks.Unfortunately for the funnymen out there,security trumps laughter."

"Ferdinand VII of Spain {Couplet} He who can false loyalty feignshall sit twice upon the throne of Spain."

"Love Haiku Sumerian whoregrabs my wedge, says: 'I love aman in cuneiform."

"Facebook's New Marketing Slogan "We can only be lonesome together.900,000,000 served."

"Western Hypocricy I laugh at the hypocrisy of this western world that only expects the Muslims and Jews to act more Christian, while they continueto revel in the carnage of their heathen ways."

"Gray [10w] Since gray's the 'new black' things aren't black and white."

"Patriotism [10w] Patriotism for the rich is a subtle synonym for profiteering."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"Overheard at Ashtanga Yoga Class *"I don't know my he left me. I even had a rabbit's food hanging from my dreamcatcher.""Maybe you should've used a little more suction and a few less amulets."

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."