#self-improvement-book

"Catalyst [10w] You're not lying if your lie helps engender the truth."

"GPS for Sin "You've entered the point of no return;Re-cal-cu-la-ting."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity is an insignificant zit on the surface of history."

"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."

"Hope for the Heartbroken A broken heartremains in piecesbut learns to love againwith every fragment."

"Concatenate /kənˈkætəneɪt/to link together, as in a chain Do you concatenate cats by tying their tails together or do you just stuff the tail of one into the mouth of the other?Which method is better for yanking your chain?"

"Cormorant’s Flight [10w] The cormorant’s flight is the first shadow of the wave."

"Love vs. Honeymoon [10w] Love is what truly begins when the honeymoon is over."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Busch Beer: Head for the mountains... [10w] ...and fall off the precipice shitfaced."

"Mended [10w] {Couplet} If the recently mended heart,breaks again, it shall not start."

"How they Measure Self-Worth in Fort Worth: Actual Texas Hooker Quote (the irony is priceless!) "Quit fucking acting like y'alls have me all figured outand don't you ever, EVER, lump me into the category of your trashy hooker girlfriend who charges $100/hr. for full service. Shit, I charge $200 minimum now ~because after the year of being at the bottom I know my self worth."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"Love Undeniable [10w] A lover may deny anything to their lover but love."

"Income Tax [10w] A man's income tax return measures his integrity and stupidity."

"Coins [10w] Statesmen whose faces are on coins are amenable to change."

"Why Utopias Fail When you tie several horses together and one takes the lead, they all fall."

"Expectation [10w] Eyes that see with expectation lieby not querying, 'Why."

"Opportunities Come a Knockin' [10w] Never miss the opportunity to fuck or write poetry."

"The Albanian Art of Subtle Seduction [10w] "You have an amazing mind now show me your tits."