#self-improvement-book

"God May Grant Your Wishes Daily [10w] Pray for sunshine at night and moonbeams when you wake."

"Wine [10w] American wines tasting as good as French wines are presumptuous."

"Thorny Love [10w] A thorn by any other name would hurt as much."

"Why We Need Smart People [10w] We need smart people to call other smart people morons."

"Rhode Island State Motto Hope.Not much here but at least we have Family Guy."

"Pain vs. Pleasure {Couplet} Pain and pleasure are nearly identical,the difference lies in their temporal perception.Pleasure feels fleeting, pain feels unending;both jolt us at the nerve's first inception."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"Mmm Mmm Good Gimmick Campbell's Soup announced todayit's introducing 'QWERTY' soupfor our more computer literate children.Who are they kidding?They're just relabeling the old Alphabet Soup."

"Russian, Metafizicheskiy-poshlost This is the humorous metaphysical banality like watching Tolstoy's wife, Sophia, nag her husband about leaving borscht stains on the table linen. The resulting discombobulation totally messed up the ending of Anna Karenina."

"A Poem Should Be Motionless A poem should be motionlessin its eternal truthsand animated to inspire latent words into action."

"Storm [10w] Clouds darken to X-rays revealingthe tumorous thunder resounding within."

"Soup [10w] Never marry anyone who eats their soup with a ladle."

"The Fate of Prodigies [10w] Early to peak, early to deal with obsolescence and obscurity."

"Read vs. Write If you want to know about life second hand, read;if you want to experience life directly, write."

"Freedom [10w] You've never experienced freedom until you have nothing to lose."

"Hook 'em I know how to leave them satisfied and hungry for more ~with a carefully administered shot of insulin."

"Cleverness vs. Crime [10w] Being caught's the only difference between cleverness and crime."

"New Age Advertising ATTEND OUR REINCARNATION RETREATGuaranteed to be a once in a lifetime experience.Sure it costs $5000, but lets face it,you only live once."

"Grease [10w] Relationships between people are rarely frictionless;they all need grease."