#self-improvement-book

"Lenny Bruce I'm going to be rich!I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede."

"Still Hangin' in the Child Hood [20w] You can spend an entire lifetime trying to be a child again,or never lose your childhood to begin with."

"Poets Hate Poets [10w] Poets hate poets who are more talented than they are."

"The Fate of Prodigies [10w] Early to peak, early to deal with obsolescence and obscurity."

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"Politicians [10w] All politicians serve two masters ~their ambition and their cocks."

"Grateful [10w] + [10w] If you can't think of anything you should be grateful for,think that you can think and be grateful for that."

"Gypsy When one gypsy spits on you, its disgusting;when two do, it's suspicious;when three do, you're late to a gypsy wedding."

"Hungry When you're hungry everything tastes good.Note to myself: Don't get married when you're hungry."

"Lubbock, Texas Haiku Oil wells, Hub of the Plains.Stinks like an armpit."

"Thank You, Adobe [10w] Thanks to Photoshop,a picture isn't worth a single word."

"Mind Maneuvers When we hear something unflattering,our mind doesn't fully process it.When we hear a compliment,the mind goes into overdriveand tend to read too much into it."

"The Warrior's Way To the warrior,peace is an annoying interruption of war."

"Maintaining the Distance between Wealth and Poverty [10w] The nouveau riche are far more ruthlessthan the rich."

"Glow in the Dark "You've led me from stark nightwith a love that glows in the dark."

"Poet and the Fool {Couplet} {Limerick} The fool does his ego inflate,much like a poet does his oeuvre overrate.But the truth of the matter is that neither shit matters;harsh reality shall both nitwits deflate."

"Mythbusters [10w] Snipers will assure you safety in numbers is a myth."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"The Poet's Way Are we ever sure what we do,will endure and get its due?No.But we do it anyway.For that is the poet's way."

"Senility [10w] Senility's like a bottle of Coke that lost its bubbles."