#self-improvement-book

"Wrong Number [10w] There is no such thing as dialing a wrong number."

"Money vs. Happiness [10w] Why do people with money say,'money can't buy happiness'?"

"Heaven [10w] Heaven’s not a destination ~it’s a way of processing life."

"Money Can't Buy Everything [10w] Money can't buy everything ~ but love is certainly no exception."

"Seafood My body's just a shell,the world is my oyster ~and I'm getting a whale of appetiteright now for some delicious seafood ."

"Consciousness-Driven Evolution circa 60,000 B.C. Random genetic mutation allowed homo sapiens to compete more successfully for food and mating rights. Just listen to girl chatter posted on the cave walls:"Boy, Uggh is hot. He's sentient!""Yeah. He doesn't need a club to get my attention."

"Spineless "How do you know which invertebrate lacks resolution if they're all spineless?"

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"The Sound of Killing [10w] + [10w] A doe, a deer, a femaledeerin my headlights.A doe, a deer, a femaledeeron my sunroof."

"The Dangers of Second Hand Smoke "Second hand smoke can be harmful becauseif you don't put out that fucking cigaretteI'm smashing your head open with this baseball bat."

"God vs. Satan [10w] Why can't God and Satan get along?They're both detail-oriented."

"Becoming [10w] We're a becoming whose final shape is unknown to all."

"Hidden [10w] God hides enough happiness in sadness to light the world."

"Perspective [10w] In every needle there's a haystack,if you step back."

"♀ Travelers vs. ♀ Tourists [10w] + [10w] Female travelers wear no makeup, stringy jewelry and Jesus sandals.Female travelers wear overcaked makeup, diamond jewelry and Gucci Booties."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"Disability [10w] Unconditional love can turn a child's disability into an advantage."

"Invisible Attraction What's invisible to the eye is that as you move towards love,love moves towards you."

"Party Hat [10w] Circus clowns, Frenchmen, and sanitation workers look better in party-hats.."

"Evolution of Love [10w] Love evolved from when one monkey handed another a blossom."