#self-improvement-book

"Unwitting Measure [10w] + {Couplet} "You I love and treasurein an equal, unwitting measure."

"Hope for the Heartbroken A broken heartremains in piecesbut learns to love againwith every fragment."

"War [10w] Fight wars not to win, but so our enemies don't."

"Jealousy [10w] Jealousy's like being reprimanded for a crime you haven't committed."

"How Hard? [10w] Fuck’em hard enough to make their breasts move like Jell-O."

"A Tad Old Fashioned [10w] "Save all your sighing and swooning for the 18th Century, bitch."

"The Sound of Killing [10w] + [10w] A doe, a deer, a femaledeerin my headlights.A doe, a deer, a femaledeeron my sunroof."

"Soar Like a Pigeon [10w] Better be a pigeon than an eagle with Indians around."

"Dictator [10w] Clever dictators keep their friends closeand their enemies dead."

"Enough [10w] Enough's the only thing most people can't get enough of."

"Advice for Women at Starbucks If a vanilla latte and banana nut muffin doesn't solve the problem,perhaps you're going at it wrong."

"The Human Race Pleasure is the sprint.Contentment is the 5 mile.Happiness is the marathon."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Credo of a Substitute Teacher I'm a 'sugar free' substitute teacher.I speak frankly and never gave any of my studentsa single word of encouragement.Why should I? Even after 10 years the school hasn't given me a pension, health insurance or paid sick leave.So fuck 'em.Fuck 'em all."

"Socrates [10w] "I know less than you.That's how smart I am!"

"Hidden [10w] A woman is an iceberg;we see less than 10%."

"Facebook's New Marketing Slogan "We can only be lonesome together.900,000,000 served."

"Love vs. the Three Headed Dragon In relationships, the corrosive venom of the three-headed dragon areindifference, fault-finding and 'take-each-other-for-grantedness'.Only these cantarnish the shining armor of amour."

"Whisper into My Good Ear [10w] "Pour your fears, fantasies, desires into my ear of corn."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."